This week is Carers Week, remembering and celebrating the unpaid family and friends who quietly get on with supporting their loved ones, day in and day out. There is no annual leave and no sick leave. It doesn’t matter how unwell they’re feeling, they get up and get on always putting their needs last and everyone else first.
I’ve worked in social care for over 25 years and always thought I had loads of empathy for the families and carers I’ve worked with, but in the last four years, I’ve developed a whole new appreciation for everything they do through my own lived experience. In the last four years as well as being a mum, I’ve also become a support worker, advocate, mental health worker, benefits advisor and many more roles that I feel completely unqualified for as a carer. But I get on and do them the best I can so that my children get the support they need to deal with life in a way that works for them. I know this is the same for so many carers, constantly battling the system to get appointments, support, funding, EHCPs, benefits and more. Battling to be seen and heard. Often told our views aren’t needed, yet we are the ones who know our loved ones the best because we are there every single day. Often told we’re overreacting or asking for too much, yet we are the ones who have to pick up the pieces when things go wrong because the system didn’t listen.
Recently I sat through a gruelling three-hour PIP (Personal Independence Payment) assessment with my 16-year-old being asked personal and invasive questions just so that she could get a bit of money to help make life more accessible and bearable. That’s tough for any mum, and even more tough when you’re 16 and coming to terms with the fact that the world is not designed for people like you, and you just want to be able to live life like your friends.
I’m lucky. I’ve worked for organisations that get it and have been understanding, and I’ve been able to work flexibly around the times when there is a crisis or meltdown or the many appointments I have to navigate almost every week; I’ve been able to go in to work late so that I can take my daughter to school because she actually can’t walk there and take the regular phone calls I get from professionals involved in our lives. If I worked in an environment where I had to be in a place for set times, there is no way I’d have been able to maintain that. None of this stops me from being committed at work and doing a really good job, in fact, it makes me more determined to make life better for the people who draw on our services and their wonderful carers.
Since joining Bromley Mencap last month, I’ve been really struck by how many of our staff and volunteer team are also carers. They all have a story and go home to continue caring after the day job finishes. This just adds to the richness of the team, the understanding, care and support that they give to the families, carers and people who draw on our support because they start from a place of truly knowing and understanding what life is like.
So, to all unpaid carers this week, and every week; we see you and we stand with you, not just because it’s our job but because we genuinely care.
If you’re a Bromley carer, we are also here for you. Visit our website to find out more about the services we provide and how we can help. We look forward to hearing from you and I hope to meet you at some of our events over the coming months.
Anna McEwen, CEO, Bromley Mencap
